How to Help Autistic Kids Get Ready for Christmas Parties

Christmas parties can be fun, colorful, and exciting, but they can also feel overwhelming for many autistic kids. Loud music, crowded rooms, bright lights, strong smells from food, and sudden changes in routine can make the holiday season stressful instead of enjoyable. The goal is not to force kids to enjoy parties the same way as others. Instead, the goal is to help them feel safe, supported, and included in a way that works for them.

Understand what might feel hard for your child

Many autistic children have sensory differences, which means their brains process sounds, lights, and movement in unique ways. Research from the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders explains that sensory overload can happen when too much information comes in at once, causing stress or shutdown. This is why parties with loud music or busy crowds can feel too intense.

Changes in routine can also be challenging. A study from Autism Research shows that predictability helps autistic kids feel calm and in control. Holiday events often break routines, which can make kids feel unsure or anxious.

Plan Ahead Together

Talking about the event ahead of time helps your child know what to expect. You can show them pictures of the venue or the people who will be there. You can tell them how long you plan to stay and what activities will happen. Some families use visual schedules or simple checklists to make things clear.

Practicing party moments at home can also help. For example, you can practice saying hello, trying a new food, or taking turns in a game. Short role play activities can make real-life moments feel less stressful later.

Create Sensory Support Tools

Small sensory supports can make a big difference. Noise-cancelling headphones can help with loud sounds. A favorite toy or fidget can give comfort. A small weighted item in a backpack can help calm the body. Research from the American Occupational Therapy Association shows that sensory tools can help kids stay regulated and focused during busy events.

It is also helpful to choose a quiet space at the party where your child can rest. Let them take short breaks whenever they need to. Breaks are not a sign of failure. They are a healthy way to support their nervous system.

Allow your child to participate in their own way

Some kids may want to join only one activity. Some may prefer to watch instead of play. Some may want to leave early, and that is okay. Every child has their own comfort level. A study from Child Psychiatry and Human Development shows that children do best when they feel they have control over how they participate.

You can celebrate small steps. If your child stays for 15 minutes or tries one activity, that is a success. Their comfort matters more than meeting social expectations.

Remember that your child’s joy counts too

Holiday events are meant to be happy moments, not stressful ones. When your child feels understood and supported, they are more likely to enjoy the season in their own way. You know your child best, and you can help them enter the holidays with confidence, comfort, and safety.

REFERENCES

Corbett, B. A., Mendoza, S., Abdullah, M., Wegelin, J. A., & Levine, S. (2009). Cortisol circadian rhythms and response to stress in children with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 38(3), 519–528.

Samson, A. C., Hardan, A. Y., Lee, I., Phillips, J., & Gross, J. J. (2019). Emotion regulation in autism spectrum disorder: A structured approach. Autism Research, 12(8), 1224–1235. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/aur.2121 

Schoen, S. A., Miller, L. J., & Green, K. E. (2009). Pilot study of the Sensory Over-Responsivity Scales: Assessment and Inventory. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 63(2), 137–146.

Bohnert, A. M., Grant, R., & Dimmock, C. (2020). Gratitude expression in children with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 50(2), 489–501.