“How Was School?” Isn’t Always Enough: Talking With Your Autistic Child

Aug 18

2 min read

After school, many parents ask the same question: “How was school?” Sometimes, the answer is simply “fine,” “nothing,” or no answer at all.

For some autistic children, talking about their school day may not be easy. They may need more time to process what happened or may communicate in ways other than speaking (Raising Children Network, n.d.).

Why “How Was School?” Can Be Difficult

A school day can involve many different activities, people, and experiences. Asking your child to explain everything at once may be difficult.

Instead, give your child time to relax after school before starting a conversation. A familiar routine can also make talking about school feel more comfortable (Raising Children Network, n.d.).

Try more specific questions

Instead of asking “How was school?”, try questions that focus on one part of the day.

You could ask:

“What did you do at recess?”
“Who did you sit with at lunch?”
“What was your favorite part today?”
“Was anything difficult today?”

Short and specific questions can give your child an easier starting point for sharing about their day (Raising Children Network, n.d.).

Remember that communication looks different

Not every autistic child communicates through spoken words. Some children may use gestures, pictures, drawings, or communication devices to express themselves (Dawson & Elder, 2013).

If talking is difficult, give your child other ways to show you what happened. You might use pictures of different school activities or let your child point, draw, or use a communication device.

What matters is giving your child a way to be heard.

Give Them Time

Your child may not answer right away, and that is okay. Give them time to process the question instead of immediately repeating it or answering for them.

Pay attention to other ways they may communicate, such as gestures, sounds, or facial expressions. These can also be meaningful ways of sharing (Dawson & Elder, 2013).

Final Thoughts

You do not need a full report of your child’s school day. A simple question, some extra time, and an understanding of how your child communicates can make after-school conversations easier and more meaningful.

At Autism Envisioned Foundation, we believe every autistic child deserves support that recognizes their unique strengths, needs, and communication style. Through personalized tutoring and individualized learning approaches, we help children build confidence and skills for school and beyond.